God's Hand

As many of you know, I got sick recently and spent some time in the hospital.  27 days to be exact.  I was much sicker than I thought when I went in.  I had been holding off going in hoping to get better.  That did not happen. By the time I went in, I had pneumonia in both lungs and a blood infection.  My organs had already began to shut down.  The night before, God spoke to me and told me I had better get my butt to the hospital.  Good thing I listened, because within an hour of being there, I went into respiratory distress.  I literally could not breath.  I thought I was dying, and I was.  I looked at my wife, my mom and my dad and tried to mouth to them that I loved them.  What happened next was what really made me think that I was going to leave this world.  I felt like I was floating above the room watching the doctors work on me.  I saw Jennifer crying.  I saw my parents with a worried look o their faces.  I actually thought that was it for me.  I was waiting to cross over and see the light.  It didn't happen though. The doctors stabilized me by putting a tube down my throat and into my lungs that breathed for me.  I was ok for the moment, but far from out of the woods.  If I had not listened to God's prompting me to go to the ER, I would surely be dead now., The infection in my lungs was so bad that it spread to my other organs.  I was in septic shock.  My heart was barely pumping.  It was failing, along with my kidneys.  More than one doctor told my family that they did not expect me to make it through the night.  By the Grace of God I did make it through, but barely.  But my heart was in bad shape.  So bad that the cardiologists rushed me into surgery to insert a balloon pump into my heart to help it pump.  A normal heart has an output ratio of about 65%.  My heart was pumping at about 5%.  It was about to give out.  The infection had really done a number on the old ticker.  The doctors were skeptical that it would come back.  Something told me my heart would be fine, and it would recover.  I spent a week and a half in critical care.  I was in critical condition.  During that time I was visited by several friends and family, and a Catholic priest visited me almost every day.  Father Dominic Pistone really helped give me strength by coming and praying over me almost every day.  The visits by friends and family made me feel loved and gave me strength too.  During my time in CCU, I also had a tracheotomy performed on me.  I now am hooked up to a machine that helps me breath through hole in my neck.  This has been a really hard adjustment for me, but I will get used to it. In another miracle, my heart fully recovered.  The doctors seemed surprised. This whole experience has taught me that life is extremely fragile.  It has also taught me that God has more plans for me in this life.  I should probably be dead right now, but by God's Hand and the brilliant work by some incredible doctors at Houston Methodist Hospital I am still here. I do not know what is next, but I'm gonna try and be ready for it.  I will, try to what God wants from  me.  All of these happenings were compounded due to the fact that I have ALS, which makes it even more of a miracle that I am still here. Definitely God's Hand.

During my stay in in the hospital I missed my kids immensely, and I cried everyday.  It was so
 very hard, but it reaffirmed my purpose in life and strengthened my will to keep fighting this bastard disease.  I am grateful to still be alive, and will try to look to God everyday and stay positive in my fight.  But there is no doubt I will need support from friends and family during low times.  I don't plan on giving up the fight.  It is still surreal to me that I was so close to  death.  But I am still here so God has plans for me yet.